


Not a lie at all

by indigomountian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BAMF Tony Stark, Blood, Captain America's Frisbee, Chocolate Chip Spider, Lewis Carroll is an Alien Apparently, M/M, Magic, Magic Revealed, Mind Control, Nick Fury Gets Told Off, Nick Fury is Not Amused, Sarcasm, Smart Harry, Snarky Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Steve Rogers gets bitched out, Stress Baking, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Feels, pouting tony, very brief - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-05-21 07:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14910791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigomountian/pseuds/indigomountian
Summary: Harry thought it was rather odd how few lies he actually told. You would think a wizard living in the middle of muggle New York would lie his arse off. But he didn’t think he’d once lied while explaining something magical to a muggle. Sure most of the time he came off as a complete and utter prick. It was also hilarious because no one ever believed him. He was a regular Luna Lovegood!





	1. Chapter 1

Harry thought it was rather odd how few lies he actually told. You would think a wizard living in the middle of muggle New York would lie his arse off. But he didn’t think he’d once lied while explaining something magical to a muggle. Sure most of the time he came off as a complete and utter prick. It was also hilarious because no one _ever_ believed him. He was a regular Luna Lovegood! Once he was asked why he was in such a foul mood and answered, completely truthfully, that he had melted a potion caldron in his front room completely ruining the carpet. It definitely taught him not to brew near anything he wanted to keep, especially with a track record like his…

The upside to living in New York was that while there is a magical population in the area they really didn’t care much that he was Harry Potter and defeated a dark wizard once, so he wasn’t badgered all the time. Well he was a bit, but not for saving the British Wizarding World. Mostly it was his investments manager at Gringotts New York branch.

So, with the lack of interest America seemed to have in him and his life he took all of the money left to him by Sirius, his parents, and various fanatics along with all the money given to him by right of conquest, because the British wizards still do that sort of thing, and moved to America. With all that capital, and it really was an obscene amount of money, he started investing in companies that had good intentions but lacked the funding to really get anywhere. He also started a few charities for various things like child abuse victims and general scholastics for young magicals, things that he was passionate about.

All of this was done while taking online classes to get back up to date with an education he had stopped getting after the age of eleven. Unlike Hermione, he hadn’t had the forethought, desire, or even ability to take summer courses. Even if he _had_ wanted to the Dursley’s wouldn’t have shelled out anything to pay for it. Well they may not even have allowed it had it been free, but that was beside the point. He had never really excelled in school between Dudley being dumb as a bag of bricks and the threat to not do better than him, then the constant threat of death, Harry never took the initiative to buckle down and really learn.

Now that he had he was stunned to find that he was actually _above_ average. It took just under three years to complete seven years of schooling and get to where he would have been had he not gone to Hogwarts. Not that that was the only thing he was doing, otherwise he was sure he would have finished sooner. It was a delicate balance between online classes, further magical studies, researching investment opportunities, meetings with the goblin managing his various charities, and a disgusting amount of galas that he was obligated to go to.

After finishing A Levels he started university, taking various classes on multiple subjects to fill his time because there really wasn’t much better to do. All of his old friends were still in England… or dead from the war. Besides if he was thinking about classes and charities he wasn’t thinking about the war.

He was taking a ridiculous about of classes. His schedule included classes in chemistry, biology, botany, economics, business, physics, engineering, computer technology; it was a good mix of interest and necessity. It was also almost enough to make his head explode, but any excuse to not go to sleep was good. He didn’t need much of it and he definitely didn’t need the dreams he got when he did.

Chemistry, botany, and biology would help with the potions and healing magic tutoring he was receiving from a well respected retired healer twice a month. The economics and business classes were to placate his investment manager, Langgash. Physics, engineering, and computer technology because they were intensely interesting, and it turned out a single wizard not actively using magic did nothing to technology. Although he had gotten varied results from anything running on electricity while he _was_ using magic, from fine working order to sparks and fire, it seemed to directly correlate to the amount of magic used and length of use.

All the new uni classes were fit in right where the A levels used to be. Langgash told him he had a suitable number of investments in both worlds for the moment, now came the waiting for them to pay off or fail; not that he thought  any of them _would_ or else he wouldn’t have invested with them in the first place, not that Langgash would have let him. So he was left with studying and being strong armed by an evil goblin to go to galas and parties. Socializing and schmoozing was not something he wanted a part in.

They had been arguing for some minutes in the goblins rather plush office for some minutes on that subject… well Harry was arguing, Langgash was waiting for him to get it all out before telling him why he was wrong.

“Really Langgash, this isn’t even one of _my_ galas, why do I have to go?” Harry wasn’t whining, definitely not. There was simply no reason for him to be there. None at all. And he had better things to do besides.

“You have to go because most of the big socialite philanthropists in New York will be going. If you don’t bother showing up to these functions they won’t donate as much, they like seeing who they’re giving their money to. So smile, dance, and make them find you charming,” It was clear from the show of pointy teeth the goblin flashed him it was not a suggestion at all but an order with the ‘or else’ left unspoken, “With the number of charities we’re working with, we will need more donations than what simply you can provide,” Harry absolutely hated the iron clad logic goblins threw at him. That was how he was strong armed into attending every gala in the fall charity circuit of New York.

Most of the parties were terribly dull; as influential people congregating are want to make them. There was the same orchestral set up in one corner playing the same classical music in the large ballrooms that all looked the same. Even the same conversation happened a dozen times before the night was through.

_“Mr. Potter, I’ve heard your charities are going well. What is it they’re for again?”_

_“Mr. Potter, I’ve heard you’ve been accepted to Columbia. What classes are you taking?”_

_“Mr. Potter, I have a business proposal I think you would be interested in.”_

 They were all very boring and repetitive, everyone was already sure of which charities were his before they even asked, they had no interest in what he may or may not be studying and he was almost never interested in any of their ‘business proposals’.

The current party was nowhere near dull. It was in fact rather dangerous at the moment, to the point where Harry was considering using magic in front of a crowd of muggles. There were half a dozen men with rather large guns that had decided a charity gala was the perfect thing to rob. Rude much.

Right now they were slowly spreading out and herding everyone together as best they could in such a large room. The main thug, who Harry was going to call Thug One, started rambling on about how cooperation would get us everywhere and anything else would get us shot. Thugs two through six were flanking now and pushing the crowd tighter together. The aristocrats were beginning to really panic now.

Before Harry made a decision one way or another about whether to reveal magic to a very large and frightened group of muggle socialites Thug One pointed his stupid chunk of metal at a rather fragile looking woman right next to Harry. Probably to prove they meant business. Without much thought Harry pushed the tiny woman out of the way as Thug One pulls the trigger.

 Bullets hurt. He already knew that mentally, but now he knew it to be true on a much more physical level. The pain in his right shoulder was telling him just how fucking much bullets hurt. Damn his saving people thing. He could feel the air around him start to crackle and his hair was lifting off head from the magic that’s rolling off him in waves. Because he was pissed. Because that fucking hurt. Because fuck the statute of secrecy he was going to show each and every one of those berks why it’s a dick move to shoot people.

Before he could do a damn thing in retaliation an ostentations red and gold suit he’d only seen videos and pictures of came crashing through a window because from what Harry had read the man couldn’t do anything without being garish and brassy about it, not to say that he didn’t pull it off well. He in fact pulled it off very well, like a knight in shining armor coming to the rescue. The offending party probably should have done some research before they chose their locale, this charity was one of many that were run by the Maria Stark foundation which made it substantially more likely for Tony Stark to be present.

 Taking no more than half a second to survey the scene Iron Man shot something at each of the six in quick succession. Two of the men pointed at the flying tin can before promptly falling on their collective faces, the others simply went down. It was all rather anti climactic, also far cleaner than it would have been had Harry taken care of it. Considering he was ready to make them regret their very existence and reveal magic at the same time.

 With the adrenalin fading fast now that the danger was neutralized the pain became so much worse. The woman he had pushed out of the way had gotten up from the floor where she had sprawled, she didn’t seem hurt, or at least he didn’t think so. It was hard to tell with all the crying. Merlin he hated it when women cried in front of him, it always reminded him of his terrible first kiss.

The people around Harry seemed to be closing in on him, his shoulder was throbbing, and he was starting to feel a bit dizzy from all the blood loss. Just as claustrophobia was starting to set in, the crowd parted to make way for the clunking metal man. His lungs relaxed when he wasn’t so boxed in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps. I love comments! doesn't everyone?
> 
> Also want to share my favorite fact about the Cockney word berk in British slang. if you don't know it is short for Berkshire Hunt and hunt rhymes with... well i think you've got it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark, defeating evil and saving the civilians... also ogling them. No one said he couldn't, or if they did he wasn't listening.

Tony felt like an idiot for leaving his Suitcase-Suit in the Audi. It felt like he lugged it around everywhere he went; then just when he felt like it was ok to put it down because it was heavy as fuck and cumbersome to boot, that was the precise moment he needed it. One of these days he was going to put a remote retrieval system in the damn thing… or at least put it on wheels so he wouldn’t get such knots in his shoulders from the weight.

There were six men with mp5 sub machine guns, they were in the middle of his clean energy charity gala, he was definitely going to have a talk with his head of security… ok so he was going to have Pepper have a talk with his head of security. Really she would do it on her own so he might as well consider it handled. Done and done, great delegating.

 He was conveniently at the opposite end of the room from the amateurs. They didn’t choose different entry points; they spread out from a single door. They didn’t even block the doors in any way. The only deterrent was possibly being shot if he was spotted leaving. Could they have been any more sloppy?

So it turned out that was a _bit_ premature, there was another guy out here, presumably to keep watch for cops or anyone else who might stop them. Without the Suit it might have been more difficult, but he had the element of surprise because the idiot wasn’t watching his back at all. Really what was their plan here because they were pathetic?  A punch to the kidney had the oblivious criminal wheezing in pain, making it only too easy to snag his gun and give him a thump over the head.

Tony turned the idiot on his side so he didn’t drown in his own vomit or something. He really didn't need to be taken to court for something like that. Not needing the gun himself or willing to carry it, he disassembled it enough to get the spring mechanism out before putting it back together. See anyone fire it now. The spring went in a convenient garbage can.

Thank god he parked his own car, figuring out where a valet put it was not something he needed to deal with right now. As soon as he was actually in the Suit everything went much faster, “Alright J, Game face. Six hostiles, armed and dangerous. Let’s get this done as fast as possible. No casualties.”

“Of course, Sir. Will we be testing the new nonlethal darts?” Jarvis replied. They went through the window, no need to waste any more time on social niceties like doors. He would pay to replace that window. It was his building anyway… at least he thought it was.

“You called it, target hostiles,” It was almost too easy, a tranquilizer in each of the might be robbers and the threat was suddenly nonexistent.

“Sir, secondary scans show an injured civilian,” Jarvis’ calm voice rang through the speaker in the HUD.

“Right. Inform med bay at the tower, J. I’ll bring him in.”

“Yes, Sir,” Tony could hear the censure in the AI’s voice.

“I don’t need to hear any of that sass, mister,” Tony couldn’t help but smile even as he said it; he was always excited to hear actual emotions in his little boy’s voice. They grow up so fast.

It wouldn’t have been hard to spot the injured civilian even if the targeting system hadn’t outlined him; a rather large crowd was surrounding a man clutching his shoulder, presumably to staunch the bleeding. A young woman was crying hysterically while switching back and forth between repeatedly thanking him and babbling incoherently. From what could be understood of it, he had pushed her out of the way and taken the bullet himself. Those were the kind of balls you didn’t see every day. Insert various lewd innuendos here.

After dispersing the crowd enough to get through Tony lifted the faceplate, “Ok, I have alerted medical. Let’s get a move on, Frank Farmer.”

“What?” Ooh! He was British, wasn’t expecting that.

“Frank Farmer, The bodyguard from The Bodyguard? Never mind, we should get that bullet would looked at don’t you think?” Not that anyone ever wanted to get medical, but not dying was a nice perk of actually going, if you’re into that kind of thing.

“No, really, that’s unnecessary. I’ll be fine,” the guy was really trying to convince Tony he was ok with a bullet lodged in his shoulder.

“Well, you certainly looked fine… you know, unless you looking at the blood dripping down your arm and forming a puddle on the floor, but other than that one hundred percent definitely!” Tony barreled through the man’s protests with his usual pomp.

Could the paramedics have dealt with him? Sure, but where was the fun in that? There was a shiny new tower to show off, even if it wasn’t quite finished yet, and this guy had balls of steal considering he took a bullet and was handling it with that British StoicismTM. He hasn’t passed out from it yet either and that’s impressive too. Also he was very pretty, even covered in blood as he was.

The squawk of indignation when he was picked up princess style was a sound to be cherished; Tony made sure Jarvis kept a sound bite of that. It would only a three minute flight to the tower normally but with a passenger he couldn’t go at his usual speed. Still, ten minutes to get anywhere in this city wasn’t bad. They still made it to the med bay before the first responders were on scene at the gala.

His medical bay had a team of awesome doctors because well, when you fought bad guys on a regular basis it was really more of a necessity. Well, if you didn’t want to go to an _actual_ hospital that is, which Tony was strongly against. After they took the bullet out and stitched him up Tony finally got a chance to really talk to him.

“Well, that probably hurt like a bitch,” was a fantastic way to start any conversation. The man smiled a bit before taking a look at the bandaging on his shoulder. Which was otherwise bare because they cut his shirt and suit jacket off, but really who needs a shirt when you look like that? Defined pecks, lithe wiry muscles, a sparse happy trail leading down to mysterious possibly interesting places framed by the distinct V of his pelvis, he definitely never needed to wear a shirt again.

“I’ve had worse. A huge snake bit me on the arm when I was twelve, that was dreadful,” The guy said looking back at Tony with the most intense green eyes he had ever seen.

“So, this is the scar, Steve Irwin?” he pointed at a round raised scar on a well muscled upper arm, it might have been another gunshot wound, it was a little big for that though, high caliber maybe. Tony should learn this guy’s name, should also introduce himself, not that Green Eyes didn’t already know who Tony was by now. He had made it extra easy by flying in with his shiny metal suit.

Green Eyes raised an incredulous eyebrow, and he had this wicked little grin, it made Tony’s mouth go dry, “Yes, actually, that is the snake bite. It was sixty feet long and turned people to stone with its giant glowing yellow eyes.”

The snark forced a laugh out of Tony, he loved sarcastic people, “And its corrosive venom could eat through gold too, right?”

“You know, now that you mention it, I recall it leaving terrible holes in the flagstone of the secret dungeon lair I was in,” they were both tittering at this point, which really was the best word for it. Thank Jarvis; the medical staff had already scurried off, so they were not privy to that sound coming out of his mouth. J would surely delete any footage of him making a sound like that. Definitely. At least if he knew what was good for him.

“How did you ever manage to survive?” this was Tony’s favorite kind of banter, well no that would have to be Science Banter, but Snarky Banter was a close second.

“Shear dumb luck, as always… and a phoenix to neutralize the poison and heal the wound of course,” Tony was thinking he might just have to keep this one.

“Of course. Tony Stark, but you probably knew that.” I took his good hand for a shake, already cleaned of all the blood thankfully. It was well callused proving that unlike most of the people who were at that charity gala, he did things besides being a rich socialite.

“Harry Potter, it’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Stark.”

“The pleasure’s all mine,” because wow, that man sure was something to look at, Tony really wanted to ride that ride, “and it’s Tony. There is absolutely no negotiation about that.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dates and flying. What more could you want? maybe a little commitment.

****Instead of simply releasing him from his personal in-house hospital Tony Stark decided it was very important for him to take Harry home personally.

“To make sure you get there safe!”

“But I feel fine. A taxi would be fine,” He was directed to the parking garage and into a waiting car with a driver and everything; his protests fell on deaf ears. It would be so much easier if he could just apparate home but he would have to get away and alone first. Tony Stark seemed determined to make sure that didn’t happen.

“Sure it would be fine but this is for my piece of mind, knowing the hero of the day is safe and comfortable at home instead of passed out in an alleyway,” when Harry say just how single-mindedly unwavering Tony way about this he gave up and shuffled into the back seat of the very expensive car, trying to ignore the pain in his shoulder, wishing to get home as fast as possible and call a healer, because sure he _could_ deal with the pain but why should he? It was very nice of Tony to offer though, considering the man sort of kidnapped him a little. And Harry was an expert on being abducted so he feels qualified to make that statement.

He probably shouldn’t be thinking about that right now though, the last thing he needed was to have a flashback and embarrass himself, or even worse hurt someone while he freaked out.

“So, other than the immeasurable pain of a bullet wound, how are you doing?” Tony seemed physically incapable of being quiet for more than thirty seconds. It was fine though, Harry hated starting conversations, even if he didn’t mind having one.

“The pain is hardly immeasurable; I would say it’s a six at the very worst. And besides that I am doing just fine.” Would be even better if he could be home right now, but it was probably for the best he was being driven; there was every chance that if he apparate right now he’d leave something behind. Pain was a great motivator but it hardly leant to detail work like fingers and toes being attached to the body.

“They didn’t give you the good pain pills did they? You know, the ones that impair judgment and all that jazz.”

“No, I refused. I'm not a fan of pain meds,” not to mention that if he did accept any of them then he would have to wait until they were out of his system to take any potions to actually _fix_ the problem.

“Great! In that case, are you free next Friday?” the smile Tony flashed with his question was one hundred percent flirtation.

“Yes, I believe so. Why are you asking?” Because that sounded like he was being asked out by Tony Stark. Maybe it was all the blood loss? He was sure he looked like hell right now, not what most people would consider a great first impression.

“I’d like to take you out. On a date to clarify, since you’re fishing for it.” Tony Stark was not most people though, and this was just one more reason why.

“It never hurts to check,” There were no reason for Harry to refuse, so he didn’t. Tony was witty, one of the smartest men on the planet, and _extremely_ hot. He would be an idiot to turn that down, “I’ll see you on Friday then. Pick me up here?” because once he looked around they had reached his apartment building , the address of which he hadn’t told either Tony or the driver. But then, like he said, Tony Stark was not most people.

Harry was completely unsure what to wear on a date with a billionaire. He shouldn’t be so stressed about that, he himself had more money than he could spend in Nicolas Flamel’s life time. That didn’t mean he was showy and ostentatious about it. With that thought in mind Harry decided to dress like he would for any other date, a nice light green button down and a pair of jeans that hugged his ass just right, and if it wasn’t good enough then it wouldn’t have worked out anyway.

 The date was interesting to say the least. He had been expecting Tony Stark to throw money left and right, surrounded by clamoring fans and just generally making Harry uncomfortable with it. He was pleasantly surprised, when nothing of the sort happened.

Tony was dressed much the same, red was definitely his color, and the blue glow of the arc reactor was peeking through the fabric of his collared oxford. His pants were almost painted on, which was a very good look on him. The shoes were probably too expensive for walking the dirty streets of New York but when you had money like that he supposed you tended not to care.

 They ended up wandering the city until they found a little café hidden in a side street and spent hours there talking about anything and everything, it was easy, like they had know each other forever. When Tony found out all the different courses he was studying. After that Harry got a personal lecture on physics and engineering from Tony Stark. Which was _awesome_. Obviously Tony Stark knew his stuff, but he was also patient and seemed to enjoy questions, whether that was because it proved his audience was listening or because he liked being the one with the answers. Maybe both.

The date ended exactly how Harry expected it to, beneath Tony Stark on a bed with a thousand thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. Tony looked very impressed by how he could get his knees to touch his ears. It was a very nice night. In the morning they parted with a kiss and a smile after coffee.

What Harry hadn’t expected was a call two days later asking if he wanted to go out again. Harry had figured Tony Stark to be the one night stand kind of guy with the way the media portrayed him, but when has the media ever given the whole story? Harry had learned that lesson over and over again and still forgot on occasion.

The second date was just as low key as the first, they strolled through the New York Botanical Garden and at lunch Tony pulled out a strategically placed picnic basket. They ended up back at Harry's apartment, which was clean of any questionably magical paraphernalia, for some lazy afternoon sex. He could definitely see himself getting used to this.

There were more dates, each of them ending in a bed, or something like it, and being thoroughly buggered or being the one doing said thorough buggering depending on the night.

The most memorably date so far was the latest. As it turned out he and Tony were of a very similar build so the man put him in one of the spare suit and they flew around the city. Tony put the helmet over Harry’s head as he finished his last minute instructions on how to fly. There was no access to the guns in the suit or anything other than the flight system really.

 “Now, if you can’t handle the suit, it can fly itself. So there’s no reason to worry. Just say ‘autopilot’ and Jarvis will take over.”

Harry smirked at the thought of it, Tony was in for one hell of a surprise, “Give me five minutes, Tony, then we’ll have a race; we’ll see which of us should be worried,” Tony had that feral grin he got when he was issued a challenge, it was cute that he thought he was going to win.

It was different from a broom but once he figured it out Harry was just as good in the air as he had always been. He was born to fly. The two men were evenly matched, being in suits of comparable power, right up until Harry led them into central park and started weaving through the trees. Tony had a much harder time following then.

“Ok, how is it that you’re better at flying my suit than I am?” he didn’t seem angry about it though, more bemused than anything else.

“Obviously it’s from years of practice riding flying broom sticks, sure the controls are a little different but it’s the same concept, flying is flying no matter how you do it,” They shared a laugh, Tony at the joke and Harry at the fact that that was the complete truth.

“I’ll have to look into building something like that; it’d be fun to tinker with when I need a break. It’ll hover off the ground and fly around like a witch’s broom.”

“Technically since you’re a guy it would be a wizard’s broom,” He added helpfully.

“How would you control it though? Maybe buttons on the handle or some kind of hand rotation, like a motorcycle; it’ll need some kind of pedal maybe for the speed and to act as a foot rest, and some kind of gyroscopic tech to keep you from going upside down when you don’t want to. Can you say best Halloween costume ever?”

Harry laughed because what Tony just described was pretty much an actual broom with a smattering of science thrown in. Harry put on a little more speed now that he was comfortable with the controls, delighting in the joy of flying even without the rush of wind. He always had been an adrenalin junkie.

“Jarvis, you didn’t take over for him, did you?”  Tony was getting farther and farther behind, apparently more worried about hitting a tree than winning their little competition.

“Of course not Sir, Mr. Potter is perfectly capable and comfortable according to the current flight data and his biometrics. There is no need for me to take control from him.”

“I told you Tony, years of practice!” Yeah, he was absolutely showing off, eking out every last bit of speed and maneuverability the suit had to offer.

Eventually they made their way back to the tower that was becoming increasingly more complete. The night ended well, with a round of rather athletic sex.

Waking up next to Tony was quickly becoming his absolute favorite thing in the world. Tony slept with his mouth open in a starfish sprawl. That made it very easy to wake him up with surprise blowjobs; it was the preferred method of waking up Tony Stark. Tony said it was better than coffee first thing, and if that wasn’t love then nothing was.

After Tony was awake and sated he asked if Harry wanted to move in. Considering they had been dating for almost five months and half of his things were already spread out the living quarters of the tower it didn’t take long to decide. Harry had been thinking for weeks about obtaining permission to tell Tony about the wizarding world, things were a bit more lax in the Americas compared to jolly old England. As long as you were in a long term relationship you could tell your partner anything you liked as long as you filled out the proper forms.

They didn’t leave their room for the rest of the day. When Pepper, his assistant and close friend, called asking when he was planning to come to the office Tony told her he couldn’t because they were moving furniture, because Harry had agreed to move in. It wasn’t a lie but really they were more rocking the existing furniture back and forth than moving Harry’s in any more than it was. Pepper seemed to get that as well because her eye roll was audible and told Tony to be back tomorrow. Pepper was great some times.

The day he submitted the last forms to the American wizarding government was three days after he had officially moved in and the same day Tony put the finishing touch on the tower, making it light up “like Christmas morning” he said “But with more me.”

Harry was going to sit him down and tell him once Pepper left, but was interrupted by some government agent who gave Tony some files to read over. Apparently there was an emergency and they were enacting the Avengers-thing Tony had told him about even though he _clearly_ wasn’t supposed to. The agent looked at Harry sort of confused, like he wasn’t sure if Harry was who he thought he was. The urge to touch his hair and make sure the scar was covered was strong, but it obviously was if there was indecision on “Agent’s” face. Unless he actually just thought Harry looked like someone in which case it wouldn’t matter if it were showing.

They sat up most of the night reading through all the files the agent had left, Tony explaining the finer points of the work on gamma radiation and thermonuclear astrophysics Harry struggled with on his own in such a limited time frame.

Harry asked very firmly to accompany him in the morning and Tony agreed with very little argument. He warned Harry it would probably piss off Fury, an actual pirate if Tony was to be believed, to no end. Not that Tony was broken up about that fact, he looked ecstatic about it actually. Annoying people was Tony Stark’s favorite hobby next to building new suits and fucking people, exclusively Harry as of now.

There was no time to tell him about magic because they would definitely need sleep if they were going to track down some cube of universal power and if Harry told him now there would be none to be had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've only got one more chapter most of the way fleshed out. What happens after that? I hope i figure it out...
> 
> comments keep me going!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry tells Tony about magic, they deal with some gods, and Tony annoys everybody to the best of his abilities.

He woke up before Tony as usual, instead of waking Tony up he took the opportunity to grab the messenger bag he had made similarly to Hermione’s beaded handbag for the most part. Unlike Hermione’s though it was big enough that any one thing he pulled out wouldn’t look terribly suspicious… other than his Lightning Bolt, the newest sleekest seeker model broom.

The bag had all the essentials for any pinch he could think to find himself in, the cloak, his broom, as many potions as he could think to stock in there along with a few odds and ends that may be of some use. All of his magical reference material and books were in there as well, because those were not good things to just leave anywhere while living with a hyper curious boyfriend.

When he came back to the bedroom Tony was already up and dressing, so much for morning blowjobs, “You’ll be taking a fully functioning suit, weapons systems and all this time. I know you aren’t trained in them at all but if we do run into trouble Jarvis will take over anyway.” It was much quicker getting the suit on this time, mostly because Tony wasn’t taking the time to explain each part as he put it on Harry himself. Jarvis had it on him in under a minute; it was less comfortable with his bag squashed up against his stomach, the metal strap adjuster digging into his side.

 But before they even left for the SHIELD base there was an alert that Loki had been spotted in Stuttgart, Germany. It would take an hour to make the trip, which seemed adequate time to explain about magic. There was no more putting it off, but Harry wasn’t that worried. Of all the people he could be telling about magic, Tony Stark was the most inquisitive and exuberant he could think of. They would be fine. He wasn’t like the Dursleys in any way.

Once they were well over the ocean Harry decided there was really no reason to wait any longer, “So, Tony. There was something I was going to tell you before Shield came knocking.” He wished he weren’t stuck in this suit so he could tap his foot and get rid of some of this nervous energy.

“Ok, go for it. Wait, You’re not pregnant are you?” Tony's humor eased that little ball of anxiety, they would be fine.

“No, I’m not. Thanks for checking. No bun in the oven, I am a wizard though. I’ve been thinking about telling you for a while now and yesterday had seemed like a good time, you know, up until we were interrupted that is. But now works too,” Tony laughed obviously not taking it seriously, but Harry didn’t expect him to, not really. He had already planned to scare the shit out of his boyfriend to punish him for that so Harry turned over so he was flying with his belly to the sky. He also slowed down enough that he wouldn’t be crushed by the wind force.

“Auto Pilot please Jarvis, and open up would you?” he was already holding in the maniacal laugh.

“Mr. Potter, I recommend against this course of action.”

“Open up” The front of the suit released to let Harry sit up, but there was a silence that sounded a lot like disapproval. This would be priceless and he hoped Jarvis was recording, even if he was rather cross with Harry at the moment.

“Harry, what’re you doing?” Instead of replying Harry smirked at him and stuck an arm in the bag and got a firm grip on his broom, god it was great to not have that stupid buckle digging into him anymore. He rolled off the side of the suit laughing while listening to Tony’s swearing as he tried to adjust coarse to catch his “suicidal fucking boyfriend”.

Never one to need saving, Harry pulled the broom the rest of the way out in one clean motion and mount mid air before speeding back up to Tony who was have some kind of mini tourettes episode.

“Don’t you fucking god damn do that to me ever the fuck again! Fuck Harry! The hell is wrong with you?” Tony pushed his face plate up to better shout at him.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought you would want to see an actual flying broomstick. Guess I was wrong,” the faces Tony made as he processed that sentence were hilarious.

“But, no. Wait! Are you like that Thor guy in New Mexico? Some kind of space alien?” his adorable dork shifted gears as fast as any of his ridiculous cars.

“No, I’m from England. There are magic users native to earth. It’s just that after the witch trials and all the burning, they were a lot more hesitant to be open about it. In fact, we tend to do our very best to keep it a secret.”

“Yeah I guess being burned at the stake will do that to ya,” Tony looked like he was about to explode with questions.

“Oh there were very few fully fledged witches burned, most of the devastation came from children being caught, too young to defend themselves; even then accidental magic kicked in a lot. There’s a flame freezing spell, it makes fire feel cool to the touch, and then it’s just a matter of apparating away. The villagers think they’ve killed the witch or wizard, but really they just left for somewhere else. Still, there were enough actual burnings that the stigma of it is still around today.”

“Spells! You said spells. So what else? Potions, curses, lead into gold? What are we talking here?”

“Yes to all of the above. Most of the stories have come from somewhere. Even the pointy hats, though they are thankfully falling out of style in Europe and America was never much of a fan of them to begin with.”

He agilely slipped back into the suit as nimbly as he had slipped out. The entire flight to Germany was spent answering questions, as expected. Tony didn’t seem the least bit bothered by the notion of magic. It was just something new to learn, understand and possibly conquer. Tony was making overtures to own the bag he shoved the broom back into before buttoning back up. Harry made a note to make the next bag without adjustable straps because that buckle was killing him.

“Please Harry, whatever you want. Name your price.” He meant it too, Tony was far too trusting and it got him into trouble a lot. Harry was very resolved to never abuse that trust like so many others have. Mostly because he loved Tony and the man didn’t deserve anything but love in return, but also a little bit because James Rhodes sounded like a scary mother fucker. Even if he could definitely take the man down, he didn’t want to because he genuinely liked Rhodey but also because if he hurt James Rhodes he wouldn’t even get to kiss Tony goodbye, they would just be done.

“Your birthday is coming up isn’t it? Now I know what to get you,” and really he couldn’t have picked a better time to reveal the world of magic because what do you buy for a billionaire’s birthday? Magic messenger bags apparently, thank Merlin he knew how to get a hold of that.

“REALLY?!” Tony squealed and did a bunch of little flips and started flying backwards. Yeah, without doubt that’s what you get a billionaire for his birthday; also Harry was dating a man child, “Wait! I need two, one of me and one for science!”

Tony got so caught up in trying to figure out how the dimensions of the magic bag worked that Harry didn’t get a chance to touch on his personal history before they got there.

In Germany it was almost _too_ easy to catch the rampaging Norse god. Tony gave him a single repulse blast to the chest and the supposed god surrendered. To be on the safe side Harry stepped out of the suit and cast as many different stunning and binding spells as he could think of. Loki seemed very surprised by that while he could still move his facial muscles. There was no struggle of Loki’s magic as he tried to free himself, at least not that Harry could see. Which was odd.

Not long after he was done a small jet landed close by. The woman who stepped out he recognized from the reading as The Black Widow. Beside her was Captain America, and while he had been facing off with Loki he seemed to fit Tony's description. But for someone who was larger than life, Tony's childhood hero, now that he wasn’t squaring off with a crazy golden horned maniac the Captain seemed very aware and uncomfortable of the fact that he was wearing what was essentially a brightly colored skin tight bullet proof leotard in a public place.

When Romanoff got close enough to get a good look at Harry there was a flash of recognition. She ignored Tony almost entirely and instead wanted to talk with Harry. Shield was better informed than Harry had guessed, or perhaps just Romanoff?

“Thank you for your help, Mr. Potter. Will you allow us to take him?” She nodded to the god that was currently bound in every way Harry could think of, he still feels like it should be inadequate but the man hadn’t moved an inch.

“Of course, Miss Romanoff. I’m here with Tony so I’ll be tagging along when you take him to your secret Shield base,” her expression didn’t change at all so if she was surprised by that Harry couldn’t tell, but she nodded in agreement.

“I’m sorry, do you know each other? Harry, why didn’t you tell me you knew her?” Tony was obviously wound up about being out of the loop and being ignored. It was endearing.

“Tony, I know about her from what was in the files yesterday. She has heard about me though,” Harry focused back on the assassin in front of him, “I’d like to help if you need it.”

“Loki is a magic user and we don’t currently have an expert on that, so any help would be appreciated I’m sure,” she wasn’t going to beat around the bush then. Captain Rogers looked back and for the between everyone trying to follow, he seemed even more lost than Tony.

“But wait. How does she know you?” Miss Romanoff just raised an eyebrow at Tony’s question as if it should be obvious. The sulk Tony slipped into was cute enough to coo over. Harry had it bad, he wasn’t afraid to admit that; especially considering how well Tony's taken to magic.

“I’m quite famous in the wizarding world, more so in Europe than in America; I ended a war,” Tony was obviously going to go on and on with questions or explode so Harry slipped back into the suit and ushered his over excited boyfriend to the plane dragging Loki behind him.

The moment everyone was settled into the jet the silence was filled with Tony asking as many questions as he could as fast as he could. Harry could only hope Captain Rogers already knew about magic, being a shield agent, but with how interested he seemed to be in the conversation that didn’t seem terribly likely.

“So, was that your wand? Can I see it? How does it work? What war? If there was a war I should have heard of it.” Tony was already off on his own tangent in his mind, trying to think of all the questions and how best to go about testing for the answers. When he got like this it was best to just jump in and interrupt him if you wanted to say something because he would just keep going and going.

“Here, you can even hold it,” it was like Christmas came early on his birthday, Tony peeled the armor back from his hands to examine what he would soon find to be a very boring stick in his hands. Harry watched with amusement as he waved it in similar patterns to the binding spell that kept Loki in check. Nothing happened.

“Am I doing it wrong?”

“You were surprisingly close, only missing one thing,” his boyfriend was wiggling like he thought he would be able to learn magic like a new scientific field, “You’re missing the magic. There is a power that doesn’t come from the wand itself. For some things I don’t even bother with a wand anymore.” Not that that was an ordinary, usual thing; Harry had always been unusual and his power level was not an exception to that rule.

“That’s not fair!”

“Tony, you of all people know life’s not fair. But I promise when we get back home I will perform as many feats of magic for your scanners as they can take.” Ok, so maybe that was a mean promise to make considering sensitive electronics were going to be able to take exactly zero feats of magic. Tony would probably revel in the challenge of making tech that can stand against magic.

“Fine,” Tony said with his arms crossed as much as he could manage half in the suit, as if he wasn’t two steps from doing his silly happy science dance. It involved a lot of butt wiggling and Harry was an undeniably huge fan. “How was there a war that we never heard of? I know you said Witches try kept magic a secret but the word ‘war’ makes it sound really organized…”

A sudden shift in the ambient magic had Harry put an end to the conversation; it was like he had licked a live wire, “There’s something wrong. Get ready for company I think, absolutely put your suit back on.” the freak storm just proved Harry right. They were almost expecting it when the door of the plane was ripped off. The burley blond guy that stepped in was hit with a repulse blast, two stunners in quick succession, and a large metal Frisbee. As he fell backwards out of the jet Harry grabbed him with a levitation charm, temporarily unconscious; not that two stunners would keep him down for long.

 “So we just k.o.ed Thor. That’s pretty cool, two for two taking down gods!” Tony just couldn’t bare a silence for long. It was one of the many things Harry loved about him, having been forced to be quiet as a child Tony's constant chatter was very comforting and reminded him he was in the now. Not in a cupboard. Not a pawn in a magic war. Not anywhere but where he wants to be. Because he had a choice.

Captain America gathered up his Frisbee and settled back for the trip, he was muttering to himself but Harry could still hear, “Just one god, and he certainly doesn’t dress like _that._ ”

As expected, it didn’t take long before the god of thunder shrugged off the stunners. The body bind put on him when he started to wake up meant he wasn’t going to suddenly attack… or Harry hoped so, these ‘gods’ seemed far too easy to take down. Loki was the god of magic. Why wasn’t he struggling against his restraints at all? Why did he just give up?

“Perhaps we could try this again, without the violence. Yes?” The god seemed rather irritated, perhaps because he was bested before he even got a chance to get a swing in, but he nodded in agreement. With a wave of his wand the god was free and Tony was wiggling like a puppy and overflowing with questions all over again. He did actually know when it wasn’t the time though, even if he didn’t act like it most of the time.

“Seiðmaður, you will release my brother into my custody,” the ever so polite god requested, as if they would just hand him over like that; wave them goodbye as they rode off to Asgard or whatever.

“No, he’ll be staying with us. You’re more than welcome to accompany us as well though.” Why was Harry suddenly the designated ambassador to Asgard? He already knew the answer, Agent Romanoff had as good as said, but he wished someone else could deal with these ridiculous ‘gods’.

Thor actually spent the rest of the flight in a brooding sulk; the only thing he was missing was a little storm cloud over his head with forks of lightning, he could probably have made it happen too so it was a rather large disappointment that he didn’t.

All and all it was a fairly windy trip with the bay doors gone.

Captain America had a very chilly twenty minute flight to the Shield base, which was an air craft carrier on the ocean. Tony and he could just button up their suits and they were fine, the other two were gods and didn’t seem to have a problem, but Steve Rogers was obviously cold. It would have been far warmer if Harry felt confident enough to perform warming charms without dooming them all to a watery grave when he fried the computers in the plane. He wasn’t happy with all of the bindings and stunners he had used either but those were more of a necessity than anything else. Rogers would survive this; he had survived seventy years on ice after all.

Once they landed Harry threw a warming charm at Rogers anyway, mostly out of guilt, but the man gave him a nod if thanks. He was quick to catch on at least, there was no more than a second of confusion before he figured out where the sudden sensation of being swaddled in a warm blanket fresh out of the dryer had come from. Harry was also very happy he hadn’t done that before because the lights give a little flicker and that would have been way more distressing at some ten thousand feet up.

When they stepped out the back of the doorless jet they were greeted by a stern looking woman with a bun tight enough to make McGonagall proud. Tony addressed her as Agent Hill, “Stark, is there someone in that suit or did you bring a spare?”

She sounded like she already knew the answer and was ready to strangle Tony for it.

“Do you really think I plan that far ahead? Of course there’s someone in there,” Tony just about crowed at the irritated eyebrow twitch he got. His lover was always so antagonistic; Harry didn’t even have to hold back his smile because no one could see his face.

“Who” was the curt response and she seemed less than pleased, well actually she seemed really kind of livid about it.

“This is Harry. Harry, this is Maria Hill,” when Harry gave her a jaunty little wave she only seemed to get angrier, and that was really kind of funny because the only sign was the tightening of her lips. There was no doubt in Harry’s mind, McGonagall would _love_ this woman. Maybe they were related.

She just stood there looking displeased; she probably knew how futile trying to control Tony Stark was. Tony seemed to know where he was going without her though, so Harry followed. Agent Hill was right behind them as they moved and with a motion Harry didn’t quite catch the suits open up smoothly to release him and Tony. They broke off and started walking away like they still had passengers; Jarvis presumably knew where to store the suits.

Loki was carried away still magically trussed up and everyone else was led into the control room that for some reason doubled as a conference room with a large table on a raised platform overlooking everything. The man Harry could only assume to be Fury, the eye patch gave it away, focuses in on him after assessing everyone else.

“And who the hell are you?” he was obviously unhappy about an unknown person in his domain. Harry wondered if the man would try to kick Harry off his flying boat. He would be in for a surprise… well, maybe not considering Agent Romanoff knew exactly who he was, and there was no telling who else in this organization knew about magic. Someone as high up as the director probably knew who he was. Not to toot his own horn but most people who were read in on magic knew the name Harry Potter.

“Harry Potter,” the hand outstretched was ignored, Fury seemed incredulous and his eyes flicked up to where Harry’s bangs were hiding his scar, so he definitely knew who Harry was. Out of the corner of his eye Harry saw Romanoff nod in confirmation.

Fury didn’t say anything but Harry got the impression he was much happier about the unexpected guest now; thinking about one more heavy hitter, almost certainly. Possibly wondering if Harry was looking for a new career path, one with a lot of skin tight leather in the dress code. Tony was visible disappointed in Fury’s instant acceptance.

He got over it quickly when he saw the man who could turn into a giant green killing machine. His first reaction was to try and get a rise out of the poor man in an obvious show to say he was unafraid. Harry had taken note of Tony poking dangerous things that should not be poked on multiple occasions. He did feel bad for the man; Harry wouldn’t subject anyone but a Death Eater to Tony when he decided to be truly annoying.

“Your work on anti electron collisions is unparallel and I'm a huge fan of the way you loose control and turn into a giant green rage monster,” he was met with befuddlement and discomfort from the other scientist, not a hint of green anywhere to be seen. The awkward man reminded Harry of Remus in the most painful aching way; it also made him take a liking to him in an instant.

“Dr. Banner, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I read some of your work on gamma radiation last night, it was fascinating. And if you’d like you can just ignore Tony, sometimes it’s easier that way. I’m Harry Potter,” this hand shake was accepted although Dr. Banner seemed just as befuddled by Harry’s greeting as he was at Tony’s. Everyone ignored the indignant shout from the man who was occasionally a five year old but always made Harry smile.

Tony had annoyed everyone greatly to distract them from whatever he was doing at the computer terminals, it was Tony he was definitely doing something. It was just a question of what and how much trouble he was going to be in for doing it. He always went big but he was also slippery like an eel and generally didn’t get caught. The impressive thing was he did that while at the same time also figuring out the easiest way to track down the cube.

“You know, these holoscreens are made for binocular vision,” he held a hand over his left eye, as if testing whether he could see the screens with just one eye, “and there are some that are all the way over there.” Tony waved at all the screens to his right, drawing attention to them and making them all light up and catch the eye, and there it is he slipped something under the right side of the console with his other hand. “How does he even see those?”

After that Tony annoyed Fury enough he was banished off to the labs to find the government property of infinite power that had gone missing, probably exactly what he had hoped for because that man knew just how to work a room and how to look amazingly sexy while doing it. Dr. Banner and Harry followed him out, Dr. Banner because he was the one who would actually be working out how to calibrate the machines to find this cube and Harry for lack of anything better to do and because he didn’t want to leave Tony unprotected without his suit. Who knows how fast Jarvis could detect a possible danger and get the suit to Tony?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An extra long chapter for me! Wow. Thor is being a little salty and Loki is in no position to do anything at the moment. Tony's being Tony and everyone else is just going to have to deal with that.  
> Yes, Harry told Tony about magic but he hasn't really sat down to think about it and all of the other crazy things Harry has said at the same time, he will soon though. 
> 
> This officially marks the end of what I had written, I added a lot to this chapter in particular it just kept going. Now I need to figure out where to go. If you have an opinion let me know!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony thinks about his magic boyfriend and the scepter digs its claws into everyone. Harry is having none of that. He's also having none of Steve Rogers bull shit and points out to him all of the ways he's wrong.

His boyfriend was a witch! Wizard, whatever. The point here was he was dating a person who could do _actual magic with stick waving and broomsticks and everything!_

There were more questions than they had time for at the moment, and Tony couldn’t help but think Harry timed it like that on purpose. It was ok, he had all the time in the world get all the information he wanted, Harry wasn’t going anywhere.

Wasn’t that a wild thought. He, Tony Stark, was in a long term committed relationship. He couldn’t see the end coming. He was happy. He was even pretty sure Harry was happy. _They_ were happy together. It was almost verging on the ‘L’ word territory and Tony wasn’t even freaking out about it.

They were coming up on the six month mark in two weeks, which would officially make it his longest real relationship ever; that time Sunset Bain strung him along for almost a year did not count and he would fight anyone about that. Sure Harry threw him a curve ball with the whole _magic_ thing, but it wasn’t like it was a _big deal_. More like a new thing he now knew about him. He learned new things about Harry all the time; like his favorite animal, owls, and how he loved cooking. This was just a bigger thing he had learned, and it opened up so many more things to know about Harry.

He didn’t have any time to think about it right now though, there was coding to do, glow sticks of destiny to identify, that sort of thing. But after this was over he was going to take a week off work and superheroing, fly them to somewhere beautiful and secluded and learn everything he could about this entirely new part of his boyfriend.

Harry sat quietly in the corner while he and Bruce Banner worked, he might be interested in science but he wasn’t on their level, yet. Tony was willing to bet he could dictate entire speeches about magic things that Tony had no hopes of understanding any time soon, not that he wouldn’t _try_.

He was super tempted to poke Dr. Banner with something sharp, but there was in fact the chance that he would change into a giant green rage monster and while Tony would love to see it he was also sure Harry would be very disappointed in him. Harry gave him a lot of slack and let him play with people how he pleased for the most part, pissing them off and annoying the hell out of everyone. He thought Harry was actually very amused by his antics; but he was sure Harry would draw the line at stabbing people, even if it was just a little.

The algorithms weren’t terribly complicated but they would take some time to run through. There wasn’t anything more he could do but wait now. That meant it was time to poke around where he shouldn’t be! Shields fire walls were laughable. Childs play. It was time to find Fury’s secret’s secrets. This would teach them to give _him_ an open computer terminal!

There was the mildly interesting channel open to an ‘interrogation’. It was going one hundred percent less than well considering the god was still trussed up with whatever Harry had done. Tony wondered if they were just going to keep asking questions to the man that couldn’t even sit up let alone give them answers. Thor, who was living up to the image of a god pretty well what with all the muscles and ripping metal doors right off, was looming in the corner watching the proceedings will a stormy expression. Yeah, Tony was going to have so much fun with that.

It was time to get into the real nitty gritty though. He started Jarvis on making copies of everything that even looked mildly interesting for his own servers and constructing a backdoor so they could breeze in as they pleased next time, without all of this rigmarole. Tony himself focused on rooting out any hidden files that may need a more out of the box thinking to find. Jarvis would take his own look once he was done sorting.

He saw Harry shifting awkwardly again in the corner. He just couldn’t seem to get comfortable. “Harry?”

“Mmm?”

“You need to stretch your legs or something?” because Harry got like that sometimes, just needed to prove to himself that he could move. It was an old hurt that he still carried with him, Tony wasn’t sure exactly what, but he was patient… when it counted. He could wait until Harry wanted to tell him. When he was ready.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… that scepter. It makes me uneasy.”

That got both his and Banner’s attentions but before Tony could ask him what he meant by that Rogers came marching in with a weird glowing blue gun of unknown origins. He dropped it on the metal lab table none too gently. He probably should _not_ throw mysterious glowing guns around like that, but that was just Tony's opinion.

Unease put on the back burner, Tony had to take a look at that thing. “Where did you even-” he was _trying_ to ask where he found the thing but Rogers was apparently an impatient bastard, and very rudely interrupted him.

“I decided to take a look around. This looks a lot like the weapons Hydra used during the war,” o.k. so maybe he was just antsy about Nazi weapons at Shield; Tony should not be this annoyed about being interrupted, that happened literally all the time. Usually he just ignored the interruption or talked over it, but Rogers was getting under his skin just by standing there.

“Well that’s real interesting Grandpa Frisbee. Glad to hear you still remember your old war stories. I guess dementia hasn’t set in yet,” Wow, ok. He was just going to _go for it_ then, that sounded a lot like an inside thought that he didn’t want to spit out. He did have those on occasion. But there it was, not kept inside at all.

Whatever Rogers was going to say in response was cut off by Fury, who had obviously figured out Tony had his fingers in all of Shields files, “Stark! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m not doing anything that America’s golden boy over here wouldn’t approve of, apparently,” which was very true, the proof was glowing on the table right there. Honestly it was scandalous, he was clutching his proverbial pearls, the Sentinel of Liberty and Justice broke into a government facility… sure he was allowed inside the building but Tony was very sure he wasn’t allowed in whatever room he found that thing. It still counted!

“Don’t drag me into whatever you’ve done! For all we know-”

“What _I’ve_ done? _You’re_ the one who came in here throwing around weapons when you obviously have no idea how they work! What if it had gone off? Huh? What then? ‘Aw shucks, butter’s never melted in my mouth _before_ ’ isn’t gonna work when you shoot someone with an energy weapon.” Tony argued and hacked at the same time, he came up with Phase two whatever that was.

“You’re supposed to be locating the Tesseract, and instead you’re squabbling like children and breaking into government systems.” It sounded like Fury was going to be mad about that for a very long time, but to be fair it was exactly in character for Tony. There was no reason for this to surprise anyone.

The tensions were rising higher and higher in the room.

“We _are_. The model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get a hit, we'll have the location within half a mile,” Well, at least _someone_ still seemed calm, although Tony would probably notice when Banner did lose his cool. They all would.

“Yeah, then you get your cube thing back. No muss, no fuss. What is ‘Phase two’?” and Tony couldn’t wait to hear the answer. Then tear it apart, because there was _no way_ whatever came out of Fury’s mouth _wouldn’t_ be a lie.

“This is phase two!” What the fuck was Steve Rogers’ problem with energy weapons that he didn’t understand waving them erratically was a horrible idea? Surely he didn’t do this with regular guns?

“We collected everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean we were making-”

“I’m sorry, Nick. What were you lying?” Tony called it. Every time, spies always lied.

“Guys?” that was Harry.

“I was wrong, Director. The world hasn’t changed a bit.” A muscle in Rogers jaw visibly tensed. Tony wanted to punch him right there.

“Tony? Can you even hear me?” Harry sounded stressed.

Tony should definitely answer him but Romanoff and Banner were arguing about why Banner was here. Like _anyone_ with sense would do _anything_ because the Black Widow, dressed in leather, batted her eyelashes. Everyone started arguing about WMDs and then Rogers had to bring it back around and make it personal. He was going to tear the man a new-

“HEY! LISTEN TO ME!” all the electronics flickered off for a second and then sputtered back to life.

Whoa, it was like he had been seeing everything through a hazy filter, then everything went warm and floaty for a second and suddenly everything was back in techno color focus. Tony wasn’t really sure what _the fuck_ just happened but he suddenly realized Harry had been attempting to get everyone’s attention for minutes now. He looked down at his own chest just to check but the arc reactor seemed unaffected by whatever that had been.

“I apologize for that but it was very necessary,” Harry was talking to everyone while doing something with Banner’s leather laptop bag. All of the papers that it had previously held were scattered on the floor now and he had his wand out, so that something was probably magical in nature.

He then took the scepter, which Banner was _holding_ for some reason, and slid it into the now magical bag in one clean move not touching it at all in the process. Banner awkwardly released the thing when his arm hit the side of the bag, like _he_ wasn’t sure why he had been holding it either, “There, not a perfect solution but it will have to do.”

Everyone was silent around him; Tony assumed they all felt just as shook up as he did.

“Now, I’m sure you have all realized by now that something just happened. While I can’t tell you the specifics without some experimentation, I can tell you that it felt very close to the Imperius curse. It was controlling you all.” Harry held up the bag, “This will hopefully keep the power enclosed for at least the moment. It will degrade the magical lining over time and seep out, I imagine.”

“And if it was controlling all of us, making us fight, why weren’t you affected?” the Widow asked, ever suspicious.

“I have been able to throw off the Imperius curse since I was fourteen. This was no different in practice.” Tony had to wonder where a fourteen year old came in contact with mind control curses. 

“And what is it you just did to us to release us from the scepters grasp?” she looked like she was ready to stab anyone if they made a wrong move.

“The Imperius curse.”

“You mean one of the three unforgivable curses? _That’s_ what you used?” What an ungrateful bitch!

“I'm sorry, does it really matter? I, for one, am so ready to forgive him. Would you _rather_ have your actions dictated to you by a malevolent alien scepter Itsy Bitsy?” Widow was _really_ starting to get on Tony's nerves, usually he was better at keeping his emotions in check but he was rather unbalanced right now and it seemed he wasn’t the only one.

“You know what, back off,” and there was the living legend, defending a lady’s honor when she was perfectly capable of taking him on all by herself. Chivalry at its finest.

“Oh, I’m starting to want you to make me,” He may not be able to match _the_ soldier blow for blow but he was going to enjoy the challenge.

“Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?”

“Genius, billionaire, philanthropist,” reformed playboy in a committed relationship, Tony kept that one to himself.

“I’ve known guys with none of that worth ten of you,” Yeah, that one stung coming from Captain America, “I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.” They always say never meet your heroes, this was just another story of why.

“I think I would just cut the wire.”

“Always a way out, you know you may not be a threat but you’d better stop pretending to be a hero.” That was a low blow and Tony was scrambling, trying to come up with a response but as it turned out he didn’t have to.

“If you want to see a threat Rogers, you keep right on going. I’ll show you a threat,” Wow, he had never heard Harry's voice so low, “You’re a test tube soldier, standing there in borrowed skin judging Tony for things he came by fair and square! Are you angry you had to have help to become something more? Maybe it’s just that you feel inadequate next to Tony? You should, I can guarantee you’ve _never_ met anyone worth _half_ of Tony Stark, and I'm not talking about his money.”

“I-” Rogers looked like he was ready to start an actual fight.

“NOPE!” Harry snapped his fingers and Rogers kept on moving his mouth but nothing came out of it. “You’re going to stand there and _listen_ while I tell you why you’re wrong!” Harry actually poked Captain America in the chest while telling him off. He was at least a foot and a half shorter than the super soldier but it was glaringly obvious which one would win in a fight. Was it just Tony, or was that super hot? On second thought, it didn’t matter if anyone else thought it was hot, Harry was all his.

 “First of all, Tony Stark didn’t say ‘Gee golly, wouldn’t it be swell to become a hero?’ he was captured and tortured, then felt it was his duty to stop those people and others like them from using his creations to wreak havoc on the world. He could have let someone else take care of it, could have simply pointed the military to where the weapons were being held, he didn’t _have_ to risk his life and yet he _chose_ to, time and time again. _That_ is what makes him a hero,” Harry was right up in Captain America’s face, all in the defense of Tony. He thought he was going to cry, no one had ever stood up for him like Harry was right now. He didn’t realize Harry saw him like that either, sure he know Harry was ok with him being Iron Man but this was different.

“Second, Tony Stark is smart enough to find a way around the ‘sacrifice play’ so he can _continue_ to do good instead of dying in some heroic blaze of glory or whatever you’re proposing he do.” Rogers looked shamefaced and humiliated as Harry finished his rant. Tony was in awe; maybe it wasn’t too early for the ‘L’ word… Because wow, that sure felt like love.

Rogers tried to mouth something in response but it was unintelligible without sound. Harry waved his hand again, presumably to brake whatever spell he put on the man. His life had become so weird, so very quickly.

“Well, now that that’s all sorted, I think I’d like to talk with Loki myself. This doesn’t seem-” That was the moment a set of proximity alarms went off. Everything was thrown into chaos in an instant as the entire Helicarrier tilted wildly as explosions went off somewhere in the flying ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry yelling at Steve Rogers was actually really satisfying to write, I hope it was as good reading it.  
> I love hearing what you thought.  
> Is it still a cliffhanger if you knew it was coming?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil Coulson helps out where he can and sadly doesn't get to shoot the destroyer weapon.

There were alarms blaring at every corner of the Helicarrier that currently had power, the primary lights were out and the auxiliary lights and emergency lights were flashing in a discordant cacophony. After the initial jolt and chaos, agents started ‘mobilizing’, in actuality they were scrambling to and fro like chickens separated from their heads. Phil made a note to set up a punishing round of drills for whoever got out of this alive. Obviously all of them needed more discipline.

The search for Clint Barton on CCTV apparently had to be put on hold to deal with whatever this was. More than likely an escape attempt, which meant there was a chance they would find Barton without even leaving the Helicarrier. Hopefully they would be able to bring him in without hurting him or anyone else but that seemed like too much to ask.

While agents prepared for enemies to board and generally panicked Phil made his way to the experimental weapons vault. There was no need to input his access code because something had bent the door right out of place. That was less than ideal. Who knew what was taken and what it would be used for. There was also the question of what had absolutely ruined the door in the first place. He couldn’t be sure that whatever whoever took was their main objective thought. He actually couldn’t believe this was anything but part of an escape attempt on the part of Loki.

With that in mind, Phil picked out the biggest weapon he could carry. He wasn’t even sure exactly what it did but they based it off of that giant almost unstoppable armor Loki dropped in New Mexico, the Destroyer. He was hoping it would be enough to stop Loki, or at least slow the god down.

New and very cumbersome weapon in hand, Phil made his way to the Hulk cage where they were keeping the godly prisoner with the help of Potter’s magic. The agents under Loki’s control had started boarding and there was fighting all around him. No one bothered Phil, he did have the talent of going completely unnoticed when he wanted; he had a very unassuming look about him.

He got there at the same time as Potter. He was still miffed at himself that he didn’t verify the identity of the man when he first spotted Potter at Stark Tower. He had thought it was ridiculous, what would _Harry Potter_ be doing in Tony Stark’s pent house? Not as crazy as he’d thought, apparently. Shield needed to get better intel on Stark if _this sort of thing_ was slipping past them, things like a man who rallied a bunch of kids to take down an organized magical terrorist cell when he was a kid himself. There was no excuse for not realizing a man like that was in contact with Tony Stark.

Potter was like a wildly exaggerated story that wasn’t exaggerated at all, apparently taking on dark lords, werewolves, dragons and who knew what else! The man’s one of the most powerful wizards in the world. It begged the question of what the hell he was doing hanging around with Stark? Wizards tended not to mix very much with non-magicals as a general preference.

“Agent, Iron Man is attempting to get engine three back in working order. Captain America is not equipped to assist him. Go help and Send Captain America to give Black Widow a hand talking the Hulk down or at least stopping him from doing any more damage. I will keep Loki contained and deal with any outside attempts to release him.” Potter hadn’t been doing any sort of saving the world since he defeated Tom Riddle as far as Phil knew but he did have that air of command about him. It was all very inspiring.

“Understood,” Phil was rather disappointed though, he wasn’t going to see what that gun could do. It was a solid plan; Rogers had very little knowledge of modern technology, still being so fresh to the future; he would probably be more of a hindrance than any sort of help unless Stark needed him to hit something, and lord knew Stark liked to do that part himself too.

Agent Romanoff was not a fan of the Hulk. She would appreciate the aid.

Phil left the bulky weapon in a supply closet to be retrieved later, no sense in weighing himself down. With any luck it would still be there when he got back, not that it mattered too much when he thought of the metal doors bent open.

He could hear Potter talking still, “That Agent ‘Agent’ is coming your way Tony, _he’ll_ actually be useful I hope; unlike Mr. It-runs-on-some-form-of-electricity!” _Someone_ didn’t like Captain America very much anymore, which was a turnaround from just a few hours ago. Phil had watched him do something with his wand when they got off the jet and Rogers thanked him for it. What in the world happened so quickly? What could make someone dislike Captain America? Would Stark have tried to turn the man against Captain Rogers? Probably not.

He started flicking through comm frequencies as he ran; trying to find the one Stark was on. It turned out that was unnecessary though because Stark’s AI hijacked his earpiece as soon as he made it to the engine room.

“Good afternoon, Agent Coulson. Sir is rather indisposed at the moment. Would you be so kind as to pull the large red lever to your right?” Jarvis spoke in his ear.

Phil spotted Captain America in uniform fighting Shield agents and was torn between awe that he actually got to watch The Captain America fight in person and concern for his agents.  He assumed they were under Loki’s control. The captain was nowhere near where he needed to be to actually help Stark.

Phil slid to the side and shuffled towards the lever. A barrage of gunfire made him rethink his move.

“Any time now Cap! Agent? Hello, guys?” the man sounded worried in a way that Phil had never heard from the always confident and carefree Tony stark. He made a dash the rest of the way, ignoring the gunfire and hoping like hell he didn’t get shot. If he did Stark would _definitely_ be paying his medical bills.

The lever went down but he didn’t see Stark. Was he too late? Oh god no! Then the man came up from below them and surveyed the scene, noting all the agents that Rogers was having so much trouble taking down without hurting.

What a relief, as annoying as Stark was, Phil didn’t want to be the one responsible for his death. Even less than that he didn’t want to have to answer to Harry Potter who seemed very close to the man; Phil didn’t think Potter would be very happy at the man he trusted to help Stark when he found out Iron Man was ground into a fine paste by a large turbine.

“Thanks Agent, you really saved my bacon! Had me worried for a minute there. J, target all hostiles; non lethal darts. Come on, you know this buddy.”Stark sounded no worse for wear, and there were only a couple of dings in the armor.

“Of course Sir, I felt it rude to interrupt while you traded pleasantries, but if you insist.” A small compartment opened at the suits shoulder and then all the shooting stopped.

“All right, Captain, you go help Romanoff deal with the Hulk. Stark, engine one is also down, pretty sure it’s only an electrical issue. Get it back online then you’re on mind controlled agent duty. Take down as many as you can as quick as you can. I’m going to go check in with Potter.” Without waiting for affirmation he started back to the Hulk room.

“And what if I wanted to be the one to check in with Harry?” Stark was a whiner. He hated whiners but the man was also the best at what he did so Phil was probably stuck with him. He could feel the baby sitting detail now.

“Tough!” he shouted back. He wasn’t sure _what_ the relationship between those two as but knowing Tony Stark he could take a guess and they didn’t need that sort of distraction on anyone’s part right now. Stark was better used in other places besides.

Most of the fighting seemed to have ended or at least moved somewhere else. That meant he made great time, unimpeded as he was. He scanned through the comm stations listening to status reports; everything seemed to be going well. The most heartening thing he heard thought was Romanoff reporting in on the fact that she had Barton. Unconscious but alive.

The door around the Hulk room was covered in bodies, hopefully unconscious considering they were all wearing shield uniforms. Phil stepped carefully on the uneven terrain through the doorway and assessed the scene in front of him.

Thor was still looming in the corner now glaring at him, that particular god was hot a big fan of Phil Coulson and considering what happened in New Mexico he could understand. Potter was facing the glass cage they put Loki in, the god of mischief was far more animated than before, he had a full range of motion in his face.

“What’s the point in staying quiet now? I can’t understand why you’re doing any of this. You’re supposed to be the god of magic right, why can’t you get out of those bindings?” Potter looked like he had been at this for a while. Phil wanted to leave as soon as those glowing blue eyes landed on him, they were disturbing and it was unnerving him something fierce.

“Does he have to have a reason? He could just be criminally insane.” Phil really would prefer if someone else diverted the crazy god’s attention.

“No. According to Thor, this is extreme even for Loki. Whatever overture you were going for here, it has failed. The engines are all back online. All the agents that you were controlling are unconscious, that means none of them are going to come for you…” Potter trailed off looking right into Loki’s eyes. He squatted down and shuffled as close as the glass would allow. Loki leaned in as well, as much as he could with only his head. The amount of eye contact going on right now was very eerie.

Could Loki control people without the scepter? That was still back in the lab they gave to Banner and Stark right? What would the even do if Potter succumbed to Loki’s power?

“Thor? What color are Loki’s eyes?” Potter was so close that his breath fogged up the glass.

“Green like midsummer ferns. How is this relevant Seiðmaður?” Thor seemed confused but Phil caught on immediately considering how he was just considering how very unsettling those bright blue eyes were. That opened up a whole new can of worms though. If Loki wasn’t the puppet master, then who was?

“Have you noticed yet that they aren’t that color _at all?_ You obviously know what color his eyes are, why didn’t you _see that_?” He sounded rather angry and he turned his head to glare at Thor who started squirming under the weighted stare. It was a rather intimidating look considering how small of stature Potter actually was.

Potter abandoned his glaring after a moment and got back to the mater on hand, he was whispering to Loki but he still had his comm on so Phil heard every word, “It’ll be ok, I swear it. Imperio.”

Very little happened, the color flickered but stayed firmly blue. Potter huffed and muttered, “Of course it wouldn’t be that easy.”

Next he pulled out his wand and began murmuring under his breath what was probably various spells but Phil didn’t know enough about the finer points of magic to parse it out. Before long he abandoned that and went back to staring into Loki’s eyes with a whispered “Sorry”

It felt like they stood there for an hour just watching Potter and Loki look at each other. Before long it turned from just Thor and Phil to include Stark, Director Fury, and Agent Hill. Stark couldn’t keep his mouth closed of course so time stretched out even further.

“So, this is weird right? It’s totally weird. Does anyone actually know what’s going on anymore or are we waiting for the exposition still?” the man truly never shut up.

 It was another indeterminate amount of time later, because of course he smashed his watch face while grappling a mind controlled agent, which Potter finally came out of whatever trance he was in.

Loki’s eyes were green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! We have eked that much farther along in the plot. Thoughts, opinions, questions? I would love to hear them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is finally able to think and make his own choices again, he's also free to comment on the sickeningly sweet show Harry and Tony put on.

It was rather ironic that two of the most intrusive types of magics in all the realms were used on him one after another in an attempt not to control or harm as they were rightly made to but to help him, to _free_ him. This is surly the strangest mortal he had encountered in his entire existence.

This Harry Potter was also rather intelligent considering Loki had been staring at Thor since he _got here_ and the oaf hadn’t noticed a thing, even when looking directly at the brother whom he had know for _centuries_. Thor had even divulged the knowledge of Loki’s eye color, meaning he did know it he was simply too dull witted to make a connection between what he knew and what he saw. Not a real surprise but enough to get Loki in a lather while thinking of the stupidity of the man that would one day rule Asgard.

Loki’s thoughts had not been his own in almost a year, it was nearly overwhelming being able to think about anything he pleased, being able to think at all. There were so many thoughts that needed his attention. All of the mortals he slew. All of the ones he enslaved. The devise an enslaved mortal was building even now. The army that waited for a portal to open so they might reap destruction upon this realm. 

“We must hurry. Before it is too late, you cannot allow the portal to open. They will burn this world simply because they can. They care not for the spark of life that dwells here or anywhere else, their only care is for the death and destruction they can bring. The suffering they can create. They must be stopped! He must be stopped!” his lungs felt too small. There was not enough air in this chamber. He needed to get out!

And as simple as that he was sitting on the other side, next to the mortal that had freed him. It took not even a direct thought to break the bonds placed upon him. Praise the Norns that _He_ had not know Loki was holding back; that _He_ had not been close enough to realize the ties that held him were as fragile as spun sugar. The punishment would surely have been horrific. If he is ever recaptured… he hopes to have some way to take his own life if that should occur.

As it was he had calmed minutely now that he did not feel so closed in. He could once more breathe. He did manage to put almost the whole room on edge though. The Midgardian wizard that released his mind did not seem perturbed by his sudden escape but then, the man had been inside Loki’s head just scant moments ago. He would surely be able to tell what Loki was about at least on a basic level, even if he did not excel at the mind arts. In truth he was just a step above a bilgesnipe in an Alfheim market, all power and no coordination barreling through and bruising all the delicate fruit. But even for all that he got the job done, however clumsily.

The Midgardian wizard waved his hand flippantly at the rather twitchy group, most annoying of which was the man in the metal suit with the glowing hands pointed right in his face. That was far too bright for the headache Loki was dealing with right now; thankfully of everyone the Iron Man was the one who followed his savior’s directive, lowering his hands. Everyone else was still watching him warily with their weapons drawn.

Thor looked as if he were waiting for a trick of some sort and truly, if Loki had any extra strength within him he would grant his brother’s wish. Would vanish all of Thor’s armor, or made spiders appear on every inch of his skin. He was weary though, had no energy to spare for such frivolities; especially with an invasion looming over their heads.   

“Harry?” the voice was a mechanical sound pushed unto the room; it sounded unnatural for all that Loki was sure the man inside was one of the best of all Midgard with their ‘science’.

“He was being controlled.” And with only that to explain, Tony Stark stood down; completely trusting the word of this _wizard_. Loki could not remember the last time someone showed so much trust in him.

“Potter, are you sure. If it’s not him-” The director was trying to take control of the situation, trying to get his answers but Harry Potter was having none of it, speaking right over the man.

“Can you tell us where the portal will open? Do you know how to stop it?” he did not ask who or why, only the truly relevant facts in the moment. Loki respected that.

“The tower of Stark’s is where the portal is being assembled. There is perhaps still time to stop this before it’s too late; before the portal is opened.” Before horrors unknown to this relatively peaceful realm are unleashed upon the unwitting denizens of the city of New York.

“Bastard!” Stark’s voice was suddenly much clearer as he lifted the face of his helm to better curse at Loki.

“Tony, get a jet. Gather up anyone you think would be helpful and meet us there.” Harry Potter pulled himself from his crouch and then helped Loki up… well he tried. Eventually he used magic because gods were _much_ heavier than mortals. It was all very kind and caring.

“What? How are _you_ getting there?” Stark squawked, “That broomstick wasn’t very fast!”

“I’m going to appa- I'm going to teleport. I’ll be home long before you will, darling.” Potter pet the cheek within the helmet. It seemed those two were _very_ close.

“But-” a thumb against his lips silenced Stark.

“I’m taking Loki with me. I will be fine.” So apparently Loki was going for a trip, not that anyone had asked him but _fine_.

“Why can't you take me?” Stark was used to getting his own way, that was plain to see in the pout he wore now.

“No. We can discuss why another time, but for now just trust me. I can't.”

“Ok. Promise you’ll be safe.” Stark whispered, Loki was going to be sick if these two were any sweeter, he never did like pastries much even if his oaf of a brother tried to bribe him with them. He only ever gave in to the bribe because he felt sorry for Thor’s stupidity.

“I will do my very best.” Harry Potter sealed his not-promise with a gentle kiss to the lips. Loki wondered if Stark even noticed there was no true promise in that statement; judging by the glazed look in his eye, probably not. “Take Rogers with you if you can find him. He may be an idiot but at least he can hit things.”

Stark made a constipated face and to tell the truth Loki had to agree. Everything he had seen of the Captain Rogers pointed to a man who was to full of himself for his own, or anyone else’s, good. His ‘moral high ground’ would only impede him when he was truly needed to act.

“Now wait just a minute, Potter! We need more information that that!” Fury looked very sure if he got in the wizards face enough the man would be cowed. Loki believed he was in for a surprise.

“Let’s go. Can you make it on your own or would you like me to side along with you?” Harry Potter was proving to be ever considerate even while ignoring someone else entirely.

“I believe I can manage,” That and not much else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day! I was on a roll. This chapter was a little short though.  
> Little bit more on Loki, Thor still hasn't gotten a moment to shine. Don't worry honey it's coming! I think.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony was liking today less and less as it went on. He was very close to reaching his limit on the number of things he could deal with at once.

Ok, everything was fine. Tony's boyfriend just disappeared into thin air, because apparently he can teleport. Is that a thing that is physically possible now? Was Tony going to have to completely redefine the laws of physics?

And Loki wasn’t the bad guy. Maybe? Usually Tony was all for shaking things up but God damn, right now he just wanted everything to make sense again. The world had totally made sense last night when he went to bed curled around Harry. Sure an alien god had stolen a cube that did who knew what and a man that turned into a not so jolly green giant was going to help Tony track it down but it still made _sense_ he was pretty sure.

 _Today_ was such a weird fucking day. Maybe he was dreaming…

Harry disappeared with an alien god, of shaky allegiance at best, to go stop a wormhole from opening over New York. Now was not the time to have his existential crisis, Tony was just going to have to suck it up and get his head in the god damn game.

“Stark, get him back here! We can't go in half cocked like the two of you usually do. I won’t allow it! We don’t even know if this is real or some kind of trap Loki devised for us,” or deal with Fury and his bull shit. The man was right up in his face. How was this going to help at all?

Hill stood two steps behind Fury, as usual. She loomed for all that she was only five foot six. She was also not the biggest fan of Iron Man _or_ Tony Stark. These two were not going to strong-arm him today or any other day. Especially when he felt he was right.

“If Harry says the man was being controlled then I’m going to go ahead and believe the man was being controlled. Or did you forget Romanoff brought him here to be the _‘magic expert’?”_ They didn’t have time for this, Tony was almost positive the threat of an alien apocalypse was more important that figuring out _who_ was planning the invasion.

As long as they had something to point at, that was good enough until they could figure out how to stop it. Tony wasn’t the one tasked with figuring out how to stop it, his job was to gather enough people to hit things until the ‘magic users’ could close the _worm hole_ that was about to open over New York. Sometimes it was nice to just hit things. No need to over think it like he usually did. He would like very much to hit Fury right in the face.

“Listen here Stark, I'm ordering you to-” oh ordering that _always_ worked with Tony Stark. The best way to deal with him really.

“Has it possibly occurred to you, Director Fury, that I don’t care what you think? In fact, you’re not in charge of me. You don’t pay me. I am in no way obligated to listen to you. You certainly have no authority to _order_ me. I’m not even really part of this little boy band you’re trying to put together. ‘Tony Stark not recommended’, _remember?”_ It felt great to throw that back in Fury’s face, “I’m just a part time consultant. In light of all that, I suggest you cram it. That piece of advice you can have free of charge. Now, I’m going to go save New York!” He marched strait for the door, forcing Fury and Hill to move or be bowled over by four hundred pounds of metal and pissed off genius.

“Get back here Stark, we’re not through here!” Tony ignored him, it was very satisfying.

He had to find fucking Rogers. After that it would be Banner, who knew if he would be any help after one Hulk out, let alone ready to unleash the beast a second time. Who knew if Romanoff and Barton would help considering their boss was ready to take the wait and see method.

If Tony had even a little bit of time he wouldn’t choose a single one of these people. The man out of time was a _waste_ of time, Banner (though he liked the man personally) didn’t want to be anywhere near this shit show, Romanoff was a knife in the back waiting to happen, and Barton… well actually he didn’t know anything about Barton really but he was buddy-buddy with the Russian spy princess so Tony's hopes weren’t too high.

If he thought Rhodey would be able to make it in time he would have Jarvis kidnap him in the War Machine. He wouldn’t be happy but his sugarplum would definitely have Tony's back, and he would watch out for Harry too even if they hadn’t actually met yet and Rhodey didn’t know Harry existed. Tony was waiting to tell Rhodey about his sweetheart in person, which meant waiting for his honey bear to have leave back in the states in another month.

It took Jarvis informing him for Tony to realize Thor was in step with him. Apparently there was at least one person that was going to help out and Tony didn’t have a single complaint about the god of thunder yet. He was officially the favorite.  

“What should we prepare for?” Tony asked the closest thing to expert on aliens he had on hand.

“It will be a harsh battle. The Chitauri are a warrior race exiled to the dead space between realms. They love nothing but destruction and death.” Wow, that broody god thing was really working for Thor, the cape fluttered ominously while he uttered ill tidings from a soliloquy in a Space-Shakespeare play.

“Grand. Super duper! Sounds like an awesome time.” Today was looking worse and worse whenever he turned around.

“There will be tales of us for this day; Eddur will be recited of our valor in defeating these manxome foes.” This guy was just too much.

“Uh hun… you know that ‘manxome’ is a nonsense word invented by Lewis Carroll?” What was Tony even supposed to _do_ with that?

A map of the Helicarrier popped up on the HUD to show him the way to Rogers’ location, Jarvis was so helpful when he wasn’t being a snarky little shit. A little video feed in the top right corner showed Rogers apparently doing a whole lot of nothing in one of the hangers for some reason. There was an invasion upon them and the greatest soldier in history chose to stare at a hole in the floor.

“Nay, truly? So far as I know, tis a word of Vanaheimr proclaiming something to be monstrous and grotesque. Are you certain?” Thor had this spark in his eye that could just be the lightning that he supposedly controlled of _or_ it could be the joy of fucking with someone. Maybe the last time Thor was on earth he had the time to read some poetry and decided razzing the humans was a super fun thing to do. If that _was_ the true origin of the word, Tony didn’t have the brain power to think of the things he could extrapolate from that right now.

He was suddenly so very glad to see Steve Rogers again, now he had something else to think about besides the possibility that one of the mathematicians of the nineteenth century was actually some kind of alien who decided to write poetry that sounded like gibberish but actually made complete sense to another alien. This was feeling closer and closer to Tony's limit of things-he-could-deal-with-right-now.

“Rogers! Time to move, we have a location on the cube. Just need to grab Banner, Romanoff and maybe Barton depending on how mind controlled he is right now.” The hallways were now clear of any unconscious bodies so the brainwashed agents were up and wreaking havoc, up and no longer mind whammied, or they had been moved. They would probably know if it was that first one.

“How’d you figure out where the cube is?” No, we’re not on any kind of schedule; let’s all just keep on asking pointless questions. Tony hated today. He was going to enjoy his island get away with Harry when this was all over.

“Now is so not the time for twenty questions. Where is Banner? We need to get to New York.” The guilty expression on Steve Rogers face _was not_ instilling Tony with confidence, now with the complete lack of eye contact and the fact that he kept stealing glances at the gaping hole Tony had a rather bad feeling, “ _Where is Banner?_ ”

“He fell.” Rogers spoke so softly it was only clear what he said because the auditory sensors in the suit were so sensitive. Tony's heart gave a little clench of fear, he’d only know Bruce Banner for a few hours but he liked the man already.

“What do you mean he _fell_?” That was not the sort of thing he wanted to hear about people who were, last he heard, on a flying hunk of metal thousands of feet in the air.

“He fell off the carrier.”

“You had one job Rogers! Couldn’t even do that right! Jarvis hijack all the cameras you can and figure out exactly where the Helicarrier was when he fell off. Get eyes on him. I want to know absolutely everything.”

“We were above New Jersey when Doctor Banner fell. I am attempting to narrow the field down further,” Jarvis had it under control; Tony would focus on not ripping a national icon to pieces for not doing the _one thing_ asked of him.

“We’re going to talk to Romanoff next. Follow and be silent.” Tony snapped out. Rogers apparently felt bad about letting Bruce Banner fall of a flying ship because he didn’t argue, just meekly followed after Tony and Thor. He should feel fucking bad.

“Bruce Banner has an inner strength, I sensed that much. He shall prevail.” The hand on his shoulder was probably supposed to be a show of comradely or something but Tony was pretty sure had he not been wearing the armor the man would have given him a giant hand shaped bruise. Or broken his collar bone. He needed to explain to Thor how fragile humans were if the guy stuck around long enough because he was going to really hurt someone like that.

“I hope you’re right Captain Hammer, I really do.”

“Sir, I have found footage of an unidentified object crashing into a warehouse well within the search grid at the appropriate time. I believe it to be Doctor Banner. There are no security cameras in the portion of the warehouse the crash occurred. I am currently attempting to get in contact with the security office onsite.”

“Great, keep me updated J,” with a lot of luck Banner would meet them there, not a bad idea actually, “Hire a car J, have it sent to the warehouse just in case.”

“Right away, Sir.” Jarvis would take care of that, Tony had to get them _moving_. Every minute he wasted here was another minute Harry was alone in New York dealing with whatever awfulness was going on there _ alone_. Tony wasn’t going to count on Loki. Not yet.

Romanoff was going to be interesting to deal with. Would she be more concerned with what Fury wanted or what needed to be done? He was about to find out because for better or worse she had taken the liberty of finding him.

Whatever she had been doing while Tony was keeping them all in the air was apparently not enough to warrant a single hair out of place. Did she even bother trying to calm Bruce down? Or was _she_ the reason he took a swan dive into New Jersey? The Hulk can't hurt you if he’s plummeting like a rock, right.

“Stark, are you ready yet? Agent Barton is prepping a Quinjet for takeoff. Let’s go before anyone stops us,” So Tony was going to go ahead and guess Fury had decided if he couldn’t _control_ Tony he was at least going to keep an eye on him. Manipulative bastard couldn’t event be upfront about it. The fact that Romanoff was trying to take him for that much of a fool was really insulting. He was insulted.

“Wait, why would anyone stop us?” Rogers still wasn’t up to speed on _anything at all,_ useless. He probably took his comm out the moment he was away from Tony, because it was unsettling or something ridiculous like that. If Tony didn’t know any better he would think the man was a liability; hell maybe he didn’t.

“Fury is an ass, that’s why. Are you going to be horrible about this? If you are I’m just gonna leave without you. Thor and I can probably handle this.” Tony hoped Thor at least was with him.

“Indeed, the Man of Iron and I shall contend with this threat!” Cool, a god was backing his play.

“Let’s just go.” The captain looked like all the wind left his sails all at once with the way he hunched over. He, Tony Stark, had successfully cowed Captain America. That was a great feeling. Were he not such a _dick_ Tony might feel bad about it, at least a little bit.

“Sir, I have spoken with the security guard on duty, the object that fell was indeed Doctor Banner. He has been given a spare pair of pants and has agreed to take the town car back to Stark Tower.”

“Thank fuck he’s ok. Make sure you get him up to speed J. Also start an evacuation of the tower if you haven’t yet.” He probably should have done that the second Loki said that was where the cube was going to be.

“The only ones currently on the premises are Mr. Potter and Mr. Odinson,” That’s one less worry at lease. Trust Jarvis to think of the important things first.

“Beautiful. What’s going on at Harry's end?” so he was checking up on his boyfriend, that wasn’t a crime.

“I couldn’t say Sir; all systems are down in the penthouse.”

“Well that’s reassuring.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters in two days, I haven't gone to sleep yet so this still counts as day two. That's the way it works guys.  
> Maybe I should wait until it's not two in the morning to post this but c'est la vie!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry deals with an alien invasion, who needs backup? He's got this.

Well that wasn’t reassuring at all… the moment the world stopped spinning around Harry he noticed that Loki was laying prostrate on the floor. It had been a good two years since Harry landed in a horizontal position after apparating; the idea that Loki the god of magic, among other things, would have such a foul landing was not heartening.

What’s worse was that the god seemed to be out cold, meaning he would be no help while Harry tried to figure out how to stop the alien invasion. There was a reason he offered to side along Loki, and it was specifically this.

“Jarvis, have you noticed anything out of the ordinary? Any unauthorized persons in the building?” everything looked in place but Jarvis would know best.

The silence dragged on and on. The apparation must have been too much for Jarvis’ more sensitive electronics, even if the lights were still in working order. He immediately felt terrible for taking down J’s systems.

He needed Loki, awake and aware. An enervate just made the god roll over. It looked like Harry was really on his own for this one. A quick walk through showed there to be no unexpected guests but that didn’t mean there wouldn’t be.

Harry wasn’t sure what he was supposed to stop, he couldn’t find anything that would unleash aliens on New York. He tried another enervate but he it didn’t get him anywhere. Just as Harry was starting to get truly frustrated the elevator doors opened and a mind controlled group stepped out with a mess of equipment.

“Well I guess you’re here to assemble the portal? There’s been a change of plans as it happens.” The entire group was bewildered by finding someone in the penthouse when it should have been empty; in their surprise they were easily stupefied. The invasion was stopped and the day was saved, Harry couldn’t remember it ever being this easy. It actually made him nervous, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Just to be sure he vanished all of the equipment the brainwashed Shield agents brought with them. The case, which Harry confirmed to have the stupid cube, was hidden under the couch with a disillusionment charm. It probably wouldn’t keep the gods away but he sure as hell wasn’t giving it back to Shield. He levitated Loki onto the couch so he could rest more comfortably; the god had to weigh an actual ton and he couldn’t lift him with his physical strength.

Next was letting Tony know the situation was dealt with, harder than it sounds considering his phone was completely fried and Jarvis presumably couldn’t see this floor at the moment. He pulled the unconscious agents out of the elevator so he could go down to another floor that Jarvis had audiovisual on. He had to check the next two before Jarvis finally greeted him as he opened the doors.

“Good afternoon Mr. Potter. Are you quite well?” Jarvis seemed relieved to see him.

“Doing fine J. I'm sorry for ruining all of your cameras.” It must be horrible to suddenly realize you can't go somewhere you had full access to a moment ago, all with no explanation.

“Apology accepted. Sir will have them replaced in a matter of hours once he is informed of the problem. I am sure it was unintentional.”

“Would you call Tony for me please?” He didn’t want the man to come in guns blazing when the threat was already neutralized.

“Harry? Are you ok? Do we have an invasion?” Tony sounded more stressed out than Harry had ever heard him.

“I’m just fine. Everything is fine. No aliens… well some aliens. Loki is asleep on our couch, he passed out on arrival. No one is hurt and I contained the cube, keep that bit to yourself though.” What Shield wasn’t told they could deny in its entirety ‘Cube? No, I've never seen the cube in person. Sorry.’

“Yeah, of course.” There were obviously people around him if he was giving such vague affirmations without asking a single question, “I’m so glad you’re ok. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes. Banner should be there shortly after. I’ll see you then, sweetheart.”

“See you soon; I’ll be up in the living room.” The line clicked off by virtue of Jarvis. “Thanks J.”

“My pleasure Mr. Potter, though perhaps next time you might short circuit the sensors on a floor with less heavy foot traffic. You would not need to travel so far every time you needed to make a request of me then.” Jarvis’ rebuke was far kinder than Tony's would be while he replaced all of J’s sensors. Harry was envisioning a lot of swearing.

“I’ll see about designating a specific no electronics floor for apparation. Who knows maybe Tony will figure out how to guard against magic and make that unnecessary. If anyone can it’s him. Bye J.”

“Goodbye Mr. Potter.” Jarvis answered as the elevator doors closed again. Harry needed to check on Loki and all those unconscious Shield agents now that the red alert was called off. He could probably actually just enervate the agents and send them on their way.

When the doors opened to the pent house Harry found Loki sitting up, awake and sheepish. “In my defense, I thought I could make it.”

“Guess you were wrong. Glad to see you’re up. The danger is over, no space portals today.” The way the god’s shoulders fell in relief was interesting, Harry hadn’t even noticed how tense Loki was until it bled out of him. “So other than a mild case of magical exhaustion, what’s wrong?”

“There is nothing,” The level stare Harry gave him made Loki rethink his answer, “Mostly whip marks, a few cracked bones. Nothing serious.”

“This _already_ sounds beyond my abilities and that’s only what you’re admitting to. I’m sending word to my healing instructor.” Harry got his wand out and started concentrating on a memory for his patronus. He went with his last date with Tony when they took the suits flying, it made a beautiful patronus.

“I will heal on my own, there is no reason to do that,” Loki tried to protest but Prongs was already running off with their location and permission to apparate right into the penthouse; more magic damage wouldn’t really matter, Tony was already going to have to tear the walls apart to get to Jarvis’ cameras and speakers.

“You might as well lay back and wait. She’s coming whether you like it or not.” Harry smirked as Loki huffed but obligingly lounged on the sofa. Instead of dealing with the five conscious men, Harry levitated them to the spare bedrooms to let them sleep it off. Tony had, for some reason, decided he needed a dozen guest rooms even though he didn’t _have_ a dozen friends close enough that he would ever offer them to stay over. Normally Harry would say it was excessive but it _was_ convenient right now.

Harry set about in the kitchen making a batch of biscuits and getting tea ready, they would be having quite a few guests. He decided on lemon shortbreads due to their relative ease and the fact that he had a whole bag of lemons that he had forgotten about until right then, no sense wasting them. A quick cooling charm was substituted for actually chilling the dough. The first tray was just going into the oven when he heard the pop of apparation.

“Healer Asif, thank you for coming on such short notice,” Harry poked his head into the main room just to be sure. She was just as professional as always even with no warning at all, in her green healer robes and her hair pulled back in a neat pony tail.

“It’s nothing,” A flippant hand gesture dismissed any further pleasantries, “Where is my patient?” she may be retired but Healer Asif could still easily control an entire ward with nothing but a stern look. Loki waved reluctantly from the couch, unhappy with the whole ordeal but obviously resigned to his fate; which was good because the woman would accept nothing less than acquiescence.

She hustled herself over and got to work diagnosing her patient, not bothering with introductions or even questions; she was a rather curt woman while she was concentrating. Harry could only imagine what her spells told her about Loki’s physiology but Healer Asif took it in stride with nary a look of query for either of them.

Eventually Harry left her to it so he could check on his shortbreads. He had too much energy and had to work it off somehow; a jet finally landed on the roof as he was putting a second batch of biscuits, chocolate chip this time, into the oven. Tony took the fast way, setting down on his personal landing pad that would take the armor back to his lab.

Harry stood and watched, he would never get enough of watching the armor come off. It was like a strip tease, and exactly Tony's style. He would have to ask Tony to do an actual strip tease for him in the armor. Harry was sure he would be delighted to comply, but that was a thought for later.

“Hey baby, did you miss me?” Tony said as casually as he could, Harry could see his eyes roving over every inch of him though; checking to make sure his boyfriend was actually as ok as he said. Harry couldn’t blame him; he was doing the exact same thing.

“Always do.” Harry pulled him into a kiss for good measure.

“Mmmh, you smell like cookies. Are you making cookies? God you’re amazing.” This was exactly what he needed right now, Tony had settled his head in the crook of Harry's neck. His arms came up around Tony and he could feel the other man relaxing into the hug, rocking a bit. He could stay here forever just like this.

The elevator opened up just as the timer went off, reminding Harry of his biscuits. He kissed Tony's forehead and led him to a stool at the kitchen island to sit at while he dealt with his stress baking. He was thankful for the open floor plan that let him see the entire living room from his spot by the ovens. Romanoff stepped into the living room along with Rogers, Thor, Agent ‘Agent’, and another man Harry didn’t know.

“There was an alien apocalypse about to start like twenty minutes ago and you decided to make fucking cookies? Who does that?” Harry had no idea who that was but Romanoff seemed comfortable with him so he assumed she brought him along. Harry wished she hadn’t because he didn’t need anyone questioning his stress relief baking.

“So you’re saying you don’t want any?” because rude people don’t deserve biscuits.

“What? No, that’s not what I said!” the blond sounded dismayed. Good.

“That’s what I heard.” Harry cooled the still hot cookies with a spell because chocolate chip was Tony's favorite and after a day like today it was mean to make him wait. He plated them and set the entire thing in front of his exhausted looking boyfriend.

“I’ve done what I can. The rest will heal on its own. Until next week Harry.” Healer Asif stood, placing empty bottles in her pockets. The three Shield agents eyed her suspiciously but did nothing against her. Rogers stood by the elevator staring at his feet, he looked lost.

“Thank you again, I’ll see you Thursday,” And with that she apparated back home; leaving Harry to deal with a gaggle of surprised Shield agents, two Norse gods and his boyfriend who was going to get a stomach ache if he kept inhaling biscuits like that. “Slow down Tony, they’re not going to crawl off the plate anytime soon.”

“Does that imply if I let these cookies sit long enough they’ll grow legs? If so I’m going to have to save a few for observation.” Tony examined the one in his hand, probably taking notes in his head to dictate to Jarvis later.

“No Tony, they will not spontaneously grow legs. I could _make them_ grow legs but that would ruin perfectly good biscuits.” Tony held one out with a hopeful expression. Who was he to deny someone with doe eyes that sweet?

Harry rolled his own eyes but obligingly transfigured the biscuit to something out of Ron’s nightmares, eight long hairy legs unfolded from the underside and it lifted itself up to stand on Tony's hand. The man seemed inordinately pleased by this and set the tiny chocolate chip spider down on the counter to watch it wander back and forth. He pulled out his phone to capture the little monster on film, for posterity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, my last day off was more than a week ago. I had work today too but I really wanted to write. Can't wait for Wednesday, I'm going to sleep till noon I swear.
> 
> So this is officiously the longest fic I've ever written! I'd just like to celebrate that a little.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If there is no battle today then surly there should be tales of other battles.

Thor had been prepared for an epic battle that he might bond with the warriors of Midgard. It seemed as if a Midgardian had solved the problem without need of gods or bloodshed… Not that that was a bad thing but it left electricity skittering over Thor’s skin, waiting to be released in a battle that wouldn’t not come this day.

“Since he has saved the day single handedly perhaps Harry should tell the first tale,” as always his brother could read him as if he had spoken aloud. It was heartening to know that Loki had not been in control of himself these last few days; that he had not, of his own volition, committed such heinous acts against those with no means to defend themselves.

“Verily!” Surely tales of battle would be just the thing to settle him back into his skin.

“Sorry Thor, but I think you might be a bit disappointed. Humans don't have battle tales like the kind I've heard from you,” the archer known as Clint Barton informed him.

Thor, having just been introduced to the man by the lady Natasha today, couldn’t recall ever telling tales to Clint Barton. “I would concede that some if my tales were more that a Midgardian would be capable of, but certainly you don’t believe I would think less of you for that.”

The Seiðmaður glared at Barton, it looked as if he disagreed with the sentiment. He set a plate of confectioneries on the short glass table that was the centerpiece of the room. “I think I'll tell the story of the time I fought a snake. Have a biscuit everyone but Barton.”

It seemed as if the archer was wrong, they were called biscuits and they were delicious. Thor took several and handed a few to Loki who was draped over one side of the very large   couch in that way of his, dramatic man that he was.

“That’s not fair! Thor told a story about fighting a group of giant men made of ice that could freeze your limbs off by touching them, you can't beat that,” Thor remembered telling such a tale to Eric Selvig in a bar in New Mexico. He did not tell that tale to Clint Barton.

“It happened to be the largest snake in the world... Unless those myths about Loki's children are true?” His new friend was very daring to bring up such things.

The fierce look Loki shot him was very kind in comparison to what his brother had done to some people for asking after that particular rumor; a rumor he was very proud to say he started. That Loki to this day did not know of that fact, proven by his every continued breath, meant that he had more guile than his brother would admit to. One day he may even confess to it… when he is old and ready to die.

 “Guess not, probably for the best,” Friend Harry conceded though he did not balk at Loki’s gaze, a true warrior to be sure.

 “A reticulated python?” The lady Natasha asked, seeming much more interested. She went so far as to sit up from her spot leaning against the archer on the other end of the couch.

Tony Stark skidded into the room from the kitchen, his own plate of biscuits in hand, pointing accusingly at the red head. “First of all, why do you know that?” The son of Stark asked the lady Natasha who merely shrugged, “And second, oh my god Harry! Were you being serious about _stone melting venom_?” the Man of Iron exclaimed in a high pitched voice, he sounded most excited to hear this epic.

“Friend Tony, kindly do not ruin the accounting,” This sounded as worthy a tale as any told through the dining halls of Asgard; Thor did not want the ending spoiled. He sat down on the floor next to his brother’s couch so he would not miss a moment.

“I'm going to have to go over everything you've ever said to me, aren't I?” He fell into one the chairs opposite the couch, nearly loosing the sweets on his plate in his haste.

“Why yes I believe so.” The Seiðmaður slid into Stark's lap, setting his plate on the table with the other. “None of it was a lie at all.”

“Jarvis, start compiling a folder of all of the ridiculous things Harry's ever said. We’ll go through it one item at a time, starting with the one about the sixty foot snake!” Friend Tony put an arm around the man in his lap, his other hand rubbed circles into Harry's arm.

“No way was it that big!” the archer exclaimed.

“It was. Would you all just let me tell the story?” Silence followed and Thor settled in to finally hear what was sounding more and more like a thrilling saga of adventure and victory. “Thank you. So this happened when I was twelve, I had-”

Before he could get any further the elevator opened, cutting him off once again. Thor was starting to get aggravated with all these interruptions. The man with a monster beneath his skin had returned; Thor knew he would. Captain Rogers pushed himself off the wall next to the elevator to greet their less green friend.

“Dr. Banner, how are you doing? Here let me help you, come sit over here.” He led the man who could clearly walk all on his own over to the empty single chair next to the man who was going to tell them a tale if everyone would stop disrupting. “You just sit right there, I’ll get you something to drink. Are you hungry?”

“I- thank you? Just a glass of water would be fine,” Banner seemed not to know what to do with kindness and concern, it was a sad thing; Thor resolved to show this man kindness whenever he could.

“We’re glad you’re ok Dr. Banner. I was just about to tell a story to prove to Barton that not everyone on this planet has led as boring a life as he has.”

 Barton squawked in protest of the statement even though he had admitted as much himself.

“Call me Bruce,” the man sounded weary, but after such a transformation it was no real surprise. A glass of water appeared at his elbow from the Captain. “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry I let you fall,” Steve Rogers was letting this accident get to him, Thor thought it had very little to do with Bruce who seemed fine but he wasn’t sure why the man was so distraught.

“It’s fine, no harm done… to me at least.” He patted the man’s arm, but it didn’t seem to make the captain any less tense. “That warehouse in Jersey’s a different story,” he muttered.

“All taken care of, right J?” Friend Tony was quick to assure him.

“Yes Sir, I have contacted a roofing firm. They will be out first thing in the morning to assess damages,” a voice from the ceiling affirmed. Thor wasn’t sure who that may be but he was unwilling to become yet another distraction.

“See, all’s well. Now, Harry was about to give me heart palpitations telling us all about the time he was almost eaten by a giant snake that could turn people to stone with its eyes.”

“As the Midgardians say, Spoilers!” Thor wished everyone would stop ruining the story. “Hurry now and commence with the tale lest someone else distract you.”

“Of course. Now like I said I was twelve and it was only my second year of learning magic, so there were a lot of things about wizardry and magical society that I just had no clue about. As it turns out the ability to speak to snakes is frowned upon,” the sardonic smile on his face said the learned that through experience, “Tensions were already high due to a cat being petrified in the hallway next to a creepy note on the wall written in chicken blood. I-”

There was a high pitched feminine shriek that pierced the air. Everyone looked to where the lady Natasha was seated but she did not seem the least bit disturbed; instead it was Clint Barton again, the man needed to learn some manners. This would not have stood on Asgard, all of these interruptions it a tale would have had him thrown from the scaffolds and barred from entering the drinking halls again.

“Oh god! What is that unholy thing?” he behaved in a most uncouth manner, climbing upon the lady Natasha and shrieking like a baboon. The worst part was the reason for this interruption. It was merely a sorcerers fancy crawling about.  

“Is this truly what has upset you so?” He picked the biscuit up and watched it’s legs wriggle for a moment before biting into it. “Just like Loki used to make.”

“They were supposed to be horrifying.”

“Instead they were just delicious,” He smiled at the fond memories.

“I change my mind you can keep your cookies because what the fuck!” The archer said from his spot in lady Natasha’s lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long.This is what I have done and I'm going to try and finish it up in another chapter or two but I cant make any promises on when that might happen. 
> 
> I'm not going to lie, I've been very unmotivated to write this story. A couple sour comments made me loose my enjoyment for writing this story and no matter how hard I try I just can't get it back. Most everyone has been wonderful and supportive but sometimes you just can't get the negative out of your head no matter how much more overwhelming positive there may be. Ya know?


End file.
